Saturday, January 28, 2012
Another Year Gone
Do you ever spend time going back through things and seeing them through different eyes? I found the last birthday card my Grandmother sent to me before she died. As you can see from the handwriting, hers had deteriorated to being nearly indecipherable. But aside from the date which was of my own making, I interpreted what she wrote. I also have one of the many rings she wore as a wedding band and one of the last pictures taken of her at the assisted living center she was in. Today would have been her 102 birthday, she died in 2002 at the age of 92. She lived a good long life and she was lucky in so many ways, although knowing her, I am not sure she would agree with me. She was a character, but I was her only Granddaughter, and even though she gave tough love, I knew she loved me in the only way she knew. I miss her, I miss her more now than I ever have. I wish I had asked her lots more questions about her life. Now all I have are a few things that belonged to her and pictures and a few written items, but they do not replace the person. Nothing does. Perhaps I am just getting more sensitive as my age grows, or maybe I am just more aware that I have less time on this earth as I have lived, or maybe it just hurts to lose a generation. As one generation passes to the next suddenly the stillness of losing pieces of your family hits harder, and who amongst us doesn't wish we could pick up the phone and talk with a relative no longer here? I wish I could but this year in August it will be 10 years. Where has it gone? And where is it leading? I do...remember Mama.