Monday, August 12, 2013

Abby's Journey --Gifts

I can't begin to say that yesterday was an easy one. Abby over did it and had a episode where she was struggling with her breath. It was brief but terrifying for me to experience. It made me realize that yes, I have been shielding myself from the effects of the cardiomyopathy. Jumping should not be in her repertoire right now. So I will do my best to solve that. To keep her quiet, I brought her into the bedroom. She use to spend every night in the bedroom with me, sleeping on top of my chest all night long, but some months ago she stopped wanting to be in this room. Was that a subtle sign? I don't know, but I wonder why she changed her mind about wanting to be with me at night. Was she shielding me? I don't know, just thoughts I wonder about now.

I do feel spending all 24 hours with her yesterday was a gift. Yes there were hard moments, moments when I thought she was teetering on the edge but she would surprise me and rally. Was she rallying because I was there? I don't think so, because I have told her I am OK with her decision whatever she chooses, I will accept. We had some lovely special moments, I think no matter who you are, we all fail at being able to really appreciate the small everyday things we take for granted. It is simply being human. We can't as much as we would like in our normal lives always stay in the moment.

As sad as I am I have found a small bit of inner peace.

One thing that was so important to me was to have Abby home.
I didn't want her last memories in a hospital type setting. So she has been home, and she made it through that weekend which had trigger points stenciled all over it for me. I did NOT want to have to take her to the ER, and in the end, she didn't have to go. So there is gratitude in that for me knowing she was able to be home with me where she belongs.

Today I hope to give Abby a spa day. I want to use a warm semi wet washcloth to wash away some of the oils that have built up and hopefully make her feel just a tiny bit clean. Then I will have some warmed towels to swaddle her in and hope that makes her feel good. We will see how she feels about that this afternoon.

Her eyes are bright and her energy seems very much "present". So I take that as another gift today.  She is resting comfortably and right at this moment I can see she is dreaming again. I hope it is a dream of happiness and maybe she is bossing around her brothers and sisters, which she so loved to do.

It mostly sounds like a parrot being repetitive but thank you for all of your thoughtful comments. During heightened moments of life, we all cling to whatever rope helps us the most. Each one of you has experienced this, or will experience it, and it is with such empathy that I feel both Abby, myself and her Daddy are wrapped in your love and care.

I do cherish each person who has said a prayer, kept us in their thoughts, or written or called. This is a wonderful supportive community when one its own is going through difficult passages.

I am on my iPad, so some of the pictures and other things are much harder to incorporate so that is why this is all just words and thoughts. We're just continuing down Abby's Journey ONE MORE DAY. So hurrah for that victory and that very precious gift.

27 comments:

  1. You two have us... all of us treading the path with you.

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  2. I am you glad you and Abby got to talk about the future. It is so important for her to know you will support her decision. We are so happynfor one more day. Love you Miss Abby.

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  3. We, too, are thankful for the precious gift of one more day, and the other special gifts you and Abby have been enjoying. Purrs and prayers, and love to you all.

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  4. Every day is a gift. You're reminding us all of that at each step of your journey.

    We are so glad you had such a full day with Abby yesterday. Time spent together like that is priceless. Even when she is sleeping, she feels your love and your presence.

    Big purrs and many hugs from us to you, Abby, and your husband. These aren't just electrons going through the internet. We are sending you our love, too.

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  5. May today be a good day for you all.

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  6. We are all right here with you
    Purrs of support
    Timmy Dad and Family

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  7. abby.....never doubt fora wee second that yur mom N dad N siblings N friends N St Francis is rite by yur side....bee it in purrson ore spirit, ewe iz never a lone, N never will bee....

    N if yur fav rite spot iz up on de bed; ore de sofa, ore a ree clinerz chair, N yur mom doez knot wantz ewe ta jump ...ask if yur dad will go two de hard warez store N get a wee plank oh wood that can bee used aza ramp, N ya can walk up ore down when ever ya like....him can prop it at de bottom ta keep frum slippin witha rubber door stopper thinga whatcha call em...

    sum bodees watchin out for ewe....
    guess !!!

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  8. So many of us have been there with our cats and are there to support you as you walk this path with Abby. And the kitties are purring-

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  9. more hugs and purrs. I'm thankful you have another day with precious Abby. May there be many more.

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  10. We're here for you. Hugs and purrayers,

    emma and buster

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  11. Special purrs from us and hugs from Mom Paula. We're here for you.

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  12. Purrs to you and paws crossed for another good day.

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  13. We understand and we continue to send our loudest rumbling purrs onwards to sweet Abby.

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  14. Every day is a gift. We're purring for more good days.

    The Florida Furkids and Mom Sharon

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  15. You and Abby and Dad won't lose us...we are here with you, one more day. And as long as you and Abby have had the "it's your decision" meow together, then it's all up to her...and she is held in thousands of loving hands and purrs and prayers...paw hugs, Savannah and Mom Linda

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  16. I'm purring hard for Abby...lots and lots o'Mojo...

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  17. A very precious gift indeed! xox

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  18. We will listen to what you need say however many times you need to say it... Mark and the Mews

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  19. Continyooing to send owr strongest purrrrrs and love to Miss Abby.

    Puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr purrrrrrrrrr

    Finn, Buddy, Jazzy

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  20. Purring for more good days for Abby. (((hugs)))

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  21. We are so glad to hear that she was able to rally when she was having some labored breathing. We are sure your presence calms her, but agree, maybe discourage the jumping! Sweet Abby, sending you some kitty kisses.

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  22. YAY for "One More Day" :)
    Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
    Treasure,Tiger,JJ and Julie

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  23. Light, love and prayers to Abby and you.

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  24. We keep you and Abby in our thoughts and purrs. And we purr that you have more good days.

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