Abby how can it be that I remember this like it was just yesterday?
It was August of 2005.
That was a lifetime ago.
That was a moment ago.
She was so adorable when she played.
The only thing she consistently loved,
Oh my goodness she was a nip head.
She went crazy over nip.
She also loved her little round scratcher. She would get up on the table and scratch her little heart out and if I put nip on it, wow that made it ever so much better. It's hard for me to look at that round scratcher without thinking of her because by and large it was her and her alone that used it.
(Updated: I had to replace the cardboard in the round scratcher recentlly. I felt sad throwing away a piece of cardboard. I felt sad because it was something Abby had clawed and scratched on, but it was time and I did it, But it still felt like one more piece of her was being removed)
The other cats occasionally use it, but not like she did when she felt good. Now that I look back she seldom used in the last months of her life. But it was harder for her to get up on the table, even though her Daddy had made some carpeted steps just for her. I thought it was just age, but now I can look and see so much of the final few months were things that had been impacted by her HCM. She just couldn't breathe well enough to do the playful things, which I thought was age related. It wasn't. Now, I'm sure. There were other things she started doing like not wanting to sit with me in the evenings which I don't know how it related to her illness, but it must have. I got the feeling the last few months mentally there were a few lapses, and I again thought it was age related. But if oxygen doesn't get to the brain correctly it causes mental lapses. So now I feel that too was related to her HCM.
So much I can see better now Abby, things you kept hidden from me. I wish I had known Abby I would have done things differently. I keep thinking maybe you'd still be with me. But, then I think, how sick you were, and that making you get weaker and weaker would have been worse than God quickly taking you home. I cannot bring myself to say that things worked out for the best, because living without you is a very hard thing. I would not have wanted you to just exist and be unhappy just to have you here with me. I want you back as you were in these pictures. Young, healthy and vibrant. Which is what you are now Abby.
Fly free, hop to your heart's content, Abby.
To the Moon and back Abby.
Let's fly away together.