Friday, July 01, 2016

Happy Birthday Angel Abby


The above photo is one of my all time favorites of Abby.
The background on it is bittersweet.
She was just home from being in the ER for 3 days.
She was in her "chair".
She seemed to be rallying and I took some of the best photos of her
that morning.
Unfortunately she crashed for a second time that afternoon and 
had to be rushed back to the ER for her second stay.
I will tell you I photoshopped the photo at the time to shield myself
really from what was happening to her.
But she was still the same beautiful girl in my eyes no matter what.

So bittersweet this memory is.
I was holding onto to anything that would give me hope.



But today is more about remembering for me
that it is her birthday.
She would have been 17.


I thought then and still to this day that losing my
ability to photograph her would be very hard.
It has been.
When I look at the first photo it makes me so wistful.
Not being able to create more memories with her with my 
camera.
She was very comfortable with the camera.
After I lost her, I lost the joy of doing that.
I stopped really.
I stopped shooting photos.


It's hard for me to think, even now, that I can't take anymore
photos of her, and I can only share the ones I have that are now
at least 3 years old. They go back to 2005.
I have thousands of them but they aren't enough.
Nothing could be enough.
But that is the way it is.
I can't change that, and just have to accept it's reality.


I suppose it's more for me now,
than it is for her.
But, there is a profoundness in not 
letting her memory fade.
It's important to me.


Even though it brings a tear I am ever so grateful
when anyone remembers her, and says her name.
I miss her.
I wish I could hug her and wish her a Happy Birthday today.
But I will remember her, again today,
and be grateful and wish her a Happy Birthday at the 
Rainbow Bridge.


Some of the greatest blessings
come at the greatest
costs.

29 comments:

  1. Purrs to you as you remember Abby today.

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  2. Sending lots of our kitty kisses, purrs and some hugs too.

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  3. We send hugs and purrs to you as you remember your Abby. What a beautiful girl!

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  4. Sending lots of purrs to you on this day while you remember.

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  5. Happy 17th angel Abby...we love the series of photos
    Hugs madi and mom

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  6. Happy Birthday over the Bridge Angel Abby

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  7. To you, Miss Angel Abby
    To the real sweet heart... Happy Birthday Sweet girl Abby.
    And hug to your mom who love you very very much
    Love

    Puddy & Mom

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  8. Soft purrs and gentle healing Light to you. It doesn't matter how many years pass, our love for them remains, as do the holes in our hearts. Peace to you.

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  9. We miss your beautiful gal too. Love and hugs from all of us.

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  10. We sure send lots of hugs and purrs on this sad day for you but such good memories.

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  11. guys....wood ewe pleez ta tell yur mom abby haz knot forgetted her...ore ewe either....each day she talkz bout how total lee awesum her familee iz, & all wayz will be... & how much she loves ewe....

    promise ♥♥♥

    N for what itz werth, therz a cake heer thatz 158,033 miles long, filled with salmon, ther bee friendz az far as de eye can see & one #ell ova partee bee in held for Abby ~~~~~~

    promise on that two

    ♥♥♥♥♥ dude & sauce =^..^=

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  12. We'd like to wish Angel Abby a "Happy Birthday" as well and we love the photos you posted of her, thanks for sharing them with us.

    Mindy & Mike and Mom

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  13. Happy Birthday at the Bridge, Angel Abby. I understand so well that the feeling of loss never goes. The harsh edges of pain soften but it never goes either. It is very important to keep her memory alive, after all, what would we be without our memories. My thoughts are with you as you remember your beautiful girl.

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  14. Happy Birthday to sweet, beautiful Angel Abby. Warm hugs for you as you are thinking of her today. Lots of purrs and prayers for you.

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  15. Sending you lots of purrs today. Happy Birthday, Angel Abby.

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  16. Sending lots of purrs and hugs today. I know what you mean about wishing for more pics. It's finite. I wish I'd taken more of Merlin when he was younger and at his peak and videos...going through old pics and finding a missing gem to edit is gold xoxox

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  17. These are lovely photos of your Abby. I know how painful it is. I lost Lucy close to the same time and I still would give anything to have just one more day, one more hour even. Comforting hugs to you as you remember Abby on her birthday.

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  18. Happy birthday in Heaven, sweet girl. I know my precious angels are celebrating with you too. {{{HUGS}}}

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  19. Happy Birthday at the Bridge beautiful Angel Abby. I know what you mean that thousands of photos are not enough XO

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  20. Sending so much love, and gentle purrs and prayers, as you remember your special girl. Happy birthday at the Bridge, sweet Abby. You are loved and remembered always and forever.

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  21. OMG...I feel awful I can't believe I TOTALLY forgot today would have been Bobo's birthday. This is the FIRST time I ever forgot. I feel awful. ((((hugs))) and love about precious Abby xoxoxoxo

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  22. Happy Birthday Abby! My Mommy knowa how yous feels. Even though me has been the blogger...Mommy's heart Cat was Hissy Old Licorice...it has been 6 years and she still misses him.
    We sends your Mommmy lots of our loves and kisses
    Nellie and Mommy

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  23. Happy Birthday to Angel Abby. Purrs to you as you remember your sweet Angel today.

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  24. Abby will always be the beautiful, vibrant, photogenic kitty you knew and loved, no matter how much time passes.

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  25. Happy Birthday to Angel Abby. I know she was your heart kitty, and you think of her everyday. Try to be thankful that you had her in your life, not sad that she is no longer with you physically. That she remains in your heart is what's important now. Hugs to you, Debra. XO, Janet

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  26. I feel your pain. Abby was beautiful and you are so lucky to have had her in your life. The memories will never fade.

    I wish I had more photos of my black and white angel Suzy :(

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  27. I feel your pain. Abby was beautiful and you are so lucky to have had her in your life. The memories will never fade.

    I wish I had more photos of my black and white angel Suzy :(

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  28. My heart and I completely understand how you feel. Not only do I still feel that way about Admiral but the pain I will feel regarding Katie one day will be like an earthquake to me. We so love our furbabies. Happy Birthday to precious Abby at the Bridge.

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