Saturday, August 12, 2017

Resilience



Merriam Webster defines resilience as the capability to recover or to adjust to misfortune or change.

***
Sometimes I believe one's ability to cope with grief depends on their own determination to just get up everyday and face the world. To stand in the deep shambles of a life crushed into a million teeny tiny shards, and declared : I don't know how or when, but somehow I'm going to survive this . Everyday is spent struggling to put those teeny tiny pieces of the past back together whole, until you realize you can't. There isn't any way to put it back together the way it once was.

***
So the days and months and even years are spent feeling troubled, resentful, in deep sorrow and outrage. There are rages against injustice of the realities, feeling deceived out of what could have, should have might have been. In all that pain, still one does not give up. There is still the desire to try and make sense of it all, until in a moment of clarity you see you can't put it back together the way it was. But you have to take what's left over in the rubble and turn it into something different.

***
So again you begin to rebuild, despite set backs,
failures and low spirits,
 you keep going.

When you have a terrible day, you still get up and go through the next one.

When you see images that bring tears of sadness, you cry, it's OK.

When friends & family let you down, you forgive them.

When life seems worthless and pointless, you hold out hope
that you will feel different,
with time.


There is no question each day you will feel weak and alone.
Maybe even believing you are the only one who feels this way.
You're not.
You're not alone,
and you're not alone in feeling the way you do.

***
But you keep picking up the pieces and rebuilding.
You are rebuilding an entire world, your world.
But what you fail to acknowledge is that each day,
each one is a act of resilience, against grief,
and it demonstrates the immense strength you possess.
You will stumble, yes, and you will fall.
You may even buckle completely.
But as long as you get up and keep trying you will grow 
stronger.
It may not feel like it but you will.
And one day,
it will not feel as bad and then you'll reach a tomorrow
where resilience will win.

***
Abby
7/1/99
8/12/13

17 comments:

  1. TBT here: When I was young, there was a creek across the street. We kids started digging op creek dirt and build dams. It was a hopeless effort. The longer we buikt the dam across the creek, the higher the water would rise and flow around the undamed part. All our effort were doomed to failure.

    It was our first lesson in the inevitably of unstoppable forces. The dams failed, the toads and lizards we caught eventually died, everything eventually fell apart or died. And eventually a beloved pet would die (always cats in my neighorhood). Eventually relatives died.

    It was hard to understand that what we wanted to continue never did.

    As we grew older, we began to cherish the time something we made or something we loved lasted. Life's lesson is that all structures and all living things fail eventually.

    Cherish what was, remember the good times, speak of them at the right times.

    All of us here celebrate the one you loved so dearly. :)

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  2. Marks Mews put it beautifully.

    Life often is a struggle between the way we think it should be and the way it is. How we think *we* (and others) should be, and how we/they are.

    Acceptance and "joyful participation in the sorrows of the world" [Joseph Campbell] can be life-long challenges.

    Peace to you.

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  3. Thinking of you on this sad anniversary. Abby was a beautiful girl. XO

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  4. The stages of grief are personal and timeless to each of us. May the memories never cease so we always know what joy feels like. Celebrate the wonderful memories of her. Hugs!

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  5. I am sorry for the sadness and loss, and I know you're missing your dear Abby. Hugs to you.

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  6. Sending you lots of extra purrs and hugs today. Anniversaries are especially tough. <3

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  7. Mark said it in the most beautiful way ; purrs and hugs to you today. Purrs

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  8. Abby was such a precious girl and your soul cat...you will always carry her around with you. Sending hugs today
    Madi and mom

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  9. Anniversaries are just the hardest, aren't they? Thinking of you today as you remember your special little angel...and remember, she's always watching over you.

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  10. sending you much love and many, many (((hugs))) as you remember sweet Abby.She was born the same day as my Angel Bobo...I KNOW how much she meant (and means) to you xoxoxo

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  11. Sending you many purrs and hugs on this sad anniversary.

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  12. A super strong love like that just doesn't give up easily, or at all. Hugs from all of us.

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  13. Sending a ton of hugs, and purrs, too.

    ((((( ♥ )))))

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  14. Purrs and hugs! Hope you feel the love of the community today.

    Emma and Buster

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