#TBT

C.2011

I love the look on her face.

And,

I love the way her fur looks like white feathers.

*smoochies in heaven Abby*

#TBT

#TBT

C.2012

Kittyears pokin' out of a box.

Angel Abby

She always had to be the first one

in any box that came into the house.

#TBT

#TBT

c.2009

#TBT

#TBT

#TBT

c.2009

I had found a bird's feather outside and I brought it in

so Abby could get a good sniff.

#TBT

C.2012

#TBT

#TBT

C.2010

She did not want to look at the camera!

#TBT

Boo & Abby relaxing.

C.2011

#TBT

#TBT

Abby

March 2013

#TBT

#TBT

Spooky cat

Abby

The paw dangle

(March 2013)

#TBT

#TBT

#TBT

I randomly choose a file from the past to find an photo of Abby.

I didn't realize I had chosen August of 2013.

These were from some of the last photos of I took of her

and they are filled with such emotion for me.

It's still hard to look at her.

I keep hoping for the good feelings to return, but I can't

release the sadness I have at her not being with me.

I miss her. That "missingness" is the thing that has

tripped me up and I keep hoping it will subside.

But, to this date it hasn't.

Missing you everyday Abby.

I love you, always

to the moon and back.

Thankful #TBT

C.2012

Abby always loved a nap in a box,

any box!

She was a boxaholic!

My sweet girl.

#TBT

#Thankful

#TBT Thankful

C.2011

Happier days in a sunbeam.

#thankful

#tbt

Thankful #TBT

I love this photo I took of Abby

in July of 2006.

She was running across the bed and her paw prints

make tracks as she moves toward the window.

#TBT

Thankful #TBT

Do the memories exist because we have proof, 

or do we remember without it?

***

I can't lay claim to remembering every single day

we shared and that is why the proof of photographs

are so special.

When I see this, I remember.

I remember none of the cats liked the cat cups

very much. When I would first put them out they

would investigate them and then leave them be.

But I can tell you this sums up Abby's personality so well.

She was always high on alert at the slightest thing.

I don't know what it was that truly caught

her attention, probably Boo.

But I can recall thinking how adorable she looked,

and how small she was in this standard size cat cup.

Miss you Abby.

#TBT

Thankful #TBT

C. 2012

#TBT

#Thankful

Thankful #TBT

C. Sept 2012

I can remember this so clearly.

It's so hard to believe it's been nearly 5 years.

#TBT

#Thankful

#TBT

#TBT

C.2011

#TBT

Abby & Boo

C 2011

Thankful #TBT

C.2013

My beautiful girl, Abby.

#TBT

#TBT

C. July 2013

***

It's been 41 months or 1249 days today.

This photo is from some of the last photos

I took of her before...before life as I knew it

would be irreparably changed forever.

I see now that Grief is something that one never

gets over, you simply learn to live with it, but

it never leaves you. It changes you,

and you have to learn to adjust to it's ebbs

and flows and title waves.

For me, I have to mark time. I have to keep track of it

It's my nature to be pragmatic and count the steps.

I used to think each day was one day more

where she was removed from my daily life.

But I've since come to see it as I'm one day

closer to joining her where she is.

Not in a maudlin sense but in a progression of my

Journey. She's up ahead of me on the pathway,

just around the corner which I cannot see around,

but she's there, and waiting. She is waiting for me.

It will be such a joyful reunion.

One day.

But until then I simply miss her.

My heart has a emptiness inside of it.

It still beats and it still loves.

The aching and the sadness have lessen by time

But the absence of the heart

that will never stop.

Not until my heart stops beating

and I find the end of my pathway

to the one thing that means everything to me.

***
I love you Abby

to the Moon and back...

I love you.