An intent looking Mr Jinx.
He wasn't too happy about me taking his pictures.
He is no "poser".
Both he and Boo are reluctant models.
Now his brother Ping will model all day long.
He loves the attention.
***
Today marks 3 weeks since Abby left.
The first sentence in C.S Lewis's beautiful book A Grief Observed is, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.". Yet when the world collapses, and that rug has been pulled out from underneath your feet, you feel lost. I feel lost. I feel powerless and disconnected. It feels like I've lost control of my world, and I see the fragility of life. I feel like not only have I lost something I cared profoundly about, I feel like I have lost an entire way of life. All the routines, all the everyday normal typical habits all came to an abrupt stop. A FULL stop.
For myself, I have found that talking about this loss is a way of healing. It is not the way for everyone. It just feels like it is what I must do. It is helping me heal and to get it out of my system. It is just pouring out. I feel that each time I open up it starts a healing process of acceptance and exorcises the pain, and it takes the raw torment that would otherwise fester and exposes it. Plus, I just want to talk about Abby. I just want to say her name, and tell her stories and share her pictures. Sharing her makes me remember, all the good things, and a few of the naughty. I just need to say I dearly miss her and what it feels like to me to miss her. I just need to talk out the feelings of pain,guilt,and disbelief. Speaking about all of this somehow gives validation to my feelings, and sharing it with those who understands corroborates my experience and it helps break me out of the isolation and to be heard. So many times all anyone wants is to simply be heard.
***
Abby's Daddy again wanted me to tell you how grateful he is for all of the gentle understanding and loving supportive comments and actions. I am deeply humbled and grateful. It warms my heart to see the love for Abby.
My beautiful Abby.
Thank you from all of us.
