Today is Abby's Gotcha.
It would be 14 Gotchas today.
Today is also 70 months since she's been gone.
2129 days.
I count.
Like steps.
I count.
I'm not sure why except I am
marking time.
Time less now that I will be without her.
Time closer to when I'll be able to hold her again.
This also begins when I have to remember
(good and bad)
those times of her Gotcha, her birthdate,
her death date and the beginning of this Journey
way back in 2005.
Grief like love,
never dies,
never goes away,
never takes a holiday.
You don't "get over it",
You don't "move on".
You go forward with life,
but you're never the same.
You are irrevocably changed and you can't go back.
***
Thank you for letting me be your Momma.
I wish I could have been your first human Momma,
but I treasure the years we had.
I love you
Abby.
I love you to the Moon and the stars
and to infinity and beyond,
and I always will.
I will never forget.
Never.
