C.July 2005
I was using the reference of the normal size diet coke bottle to show you the scale of how small Abby was. She was only 11" tall. Oddly enough she was also 11" long. She was in my estimation about the size of a 4-5 month old kitten. I wish I could have seen her as a kitten, and to have known her parents and siblings. Was she the runt? Or were they all small?? Her body was typically round which is normal for a Manx. But her head was angular, not rounded which is atypical. But I just loved the way her body was compact and muscular and low to the ground. She truly was a tiny dynamo.
I don't know what was with the paw thing.
MOL
She held it up in the entire series.
I bet she was tired of the flash box going off.
I can look back at all of my older pictures and she how far I've come both in terms of better quality pictures and also better photography skills in capturing animals. Those who have black, or white, or the combo of black and white cats, know how hard it is to photograph black or white. I was happy that I did invest in DSLR camera because it gave me some excellent pictures of Abby, all later in her life, but I still have them and they are my treasures.
*****
I will offer up one piece of advise and it's hard to do because I failed at it, but I am trying to do better. Take pictures.Take LOTS of them. Digital pictures basically only cost your time. You will never regret having too many pictures. I thought I had taken too many pictures, and even though I have over 50000 of the cats throughout the years, that isn't enough. I will I had a zillion more of Abby.
*****
I miss my girl.
Which I know anyone who has lost their kitty, especially their heart kitty does.
It's hard. Even when your home is filled with other felines, it's still hard. I am so grateful I have the four I do but, they are not Abby. Just like Abby was not Boo, or Gracie, or Ping, or Jinx. They are all unique. But, Abby and I well we just had something special going on. She needed me, and I needed her. Now, I have to find a way to contentment with letting her go ahead of me and I must wait until I can be reunited with her. Time keeps ebbing away the very rough edges of the grief, but as the major Holidays approach it will bring renewed sadness. I had one brief moment of clarity when she was so sick in August. I was looking through my photo archives and of course I ran upon the Christmas photos. I knew right then, she would not see another Christmas. I had to shut down that thought at the time, but my head knew her time was so limited. Not as limited as it turned out to be, but limited. So, this Holiday season will be my first without her and it will be different, more bittersweet,less joyful than it might otherwise have been as time grows closer I will share some of the Holiday photos of years past. She was always my little helper when I wrapped packages. She loved boxes and getting into the papers and bows. Oh it's going to be tough this year, can I just skip the holidays this year?
*****
I love you Abby,
to the MOON
and BACK
again, and again and again.
