Mina

Last Thursday evening was the final time I saw Mina,

it was July 9, 2020 & I peeked out the window

and all of the cats were asleep

on the driveway.

I gather the concrete is cooler.

It's been very hot here in Florida.

Friday morning I went to feed the cats 

for breakfast.

It is very hot,

and a lot of them don't

partake.

Mina did not show up.

I wondered about that,

but didn't make much of it because of the heat.

Dinner came and no Mina.

Nor did she come to breakfast or dinner

on Saturday.

I had gone from a little worry to a lot.

I had called and searched for her each day.

Nothing on Sunday either.

There is always a risk with outdoor cats.

Mina was very fearful.

I checked my records and she appeared

at my door on December 7, 2019 2018.

A scrawny 4-5 month old kitten.

Someone had just dropped her nearby. 

She became friendly with Buddy, another throwaway.

He is a fella that has been with me for several

years and he is half deaf and very goofy.

Totally harmless and Neutered!

Before I knew it Mina mated with the big

gray tomcat that was hanging around her

because she was in heat.

In my ignorance I didn't realize kittens that young

got pregnant. Well she did.

She's playing with Mickey when he was about

2 months old.

The above photo was taken last month,

and she and Mickey are still playing.

He loves his Mom.

Mina was very good at Motherhood.

The photo above is her with the kittens between

1-2 months old.

Enjoyment at the milk bar.

Such a beautiful family.

She loved her kittens,

and  they loved her right back.

Such a bonded group.

Mickey again with his Mom.

Yesterday I came home after being gone all day.

It was 7:30 and I had just fed everyone outdoors

and indoors and I was closing up the window shades.

I looked out into the front yard and I saw Mina's head

peeking out of the tall grass.

I ran outside calling her, expecting her to run to me.

She didn't. She couldn't.

As I grew closer to her I could see she could not 

move her hind legs and she was covered in flies.

I could see some type of injury and I'm not sure

what.

She cried to me, HELP ME.

So I ran as fast as I could to find a blanket

to lift her safely and hopefully not hurt her 

further and also a carrier.

I got her inside and she struggled a little but not much.

You have to understand even after nearly 18 months

Mina would not let me near her.

I had mistakenly tried picking her up one day and

I had blood drawn. She was very fearful.

I was in hyper drive to get her into the car.

I grabbed my phone and called the ER,

the same one I had to take Abby to.

I knew with Covid there was probably a procedure,

and there was.

I got there close to 8:30 and within a few minutes of

doing all the paperwork they came to the car

and took her in.

She didn't make it.

We don't know what happened.

And truthfully it doesn't matter.

She's gone.

***

I have a tough time with loss.

I understand everyone does.

Even though I am so acquainted with it's feel.

The hollowness is everywhere.

I see the chair which I placed for her empty

and my heart just breaks.

I look at the faces of those kittens who don't have

a clue that their Mom isn't coming back.

My eye swell with tears.

I know they don't have the same outlook as I do

knowing what I know, but it still breaks my heart

knowing that she is not coming back to them.

I pray I made the right decision.

As much as I wanted to save each cat that I have,

I can't. I don't have any wisdom on this.

I don't understand what happened or why.

I'm struggling with not knowing if

the right decision was made,

or if I simply did the wrong thing.

***

Mina I loved you.

Mina I will miss you

Mina I will try to keep your kittens safe.

As safe as they will allow me.

Mina oh my pretty Mina.

I am so sorry that you were handed such a hard life.

I hope in the short time we shared I made it better.

I tried.

Truly I did.

I kept telling you that if your stayed close by within the 

yard you'd be safe, but I know you liked to roam.

Now you can roam safely and free.

No more worries about the heat, the cold, or rain.

I love you so and my heart is broken

and I so long to see you.

It will take a long time to find peace for myself,

and I will pray for your soul and my own.

Mina be at peace.

Watch over your babies and keep them safe.