Saturday, August 12, 2023

When A Heart Breaks

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as like they're here to stay
oh I believe in Yesterday.
~Lennon & Mccartney

Yes, it does seem like Yesterday, but indeed today
marks 10 years. 
10 years?
Where did the time go?

I spent some time,
just recently, 
going through the entire postings
from late July 2013 until
the end of August 2013.
I haven't ever done that.
I have to confess,
I wasn't able to go through 
every post even now.

You know my dearest Abby, 
you are never far away in my thoughts.
I miss you just as much this day, as I did the moment your spirit
left your body in my arms.
And there are moments when I still have that gut punch and I 
feel the tremendous loss of you all over again,
but those moments are fewer and far between.

You taught me so much over these past ten years.
You helped me let Gracie go with the understanding it was
best for her rather than fighting a losing battle.
I learned from you that Jinx would tell me in his own
way that it was time to depart and I gave him his wish.
And finally Ping...oh Ping what a guy he was.

You taught me about Grief and Unconditional Love.
So many lessons. Many I'm still learning.
Boo is not far behind all of you, and although she is doing
well for now, I know her time is short.
Then you all will be together again, the Fab Five.
Which will be another big moment in my life.

I know that I need no words to tell you this, because from
my heart to yours there is no need of words.
But I began this blog for you, and I kept it going after you left,
for a while at least. Until it became too hard to keep going.

Wait for me my special one.
Wait for me just up ahead.
One day will be my day to join you.
I can't wait to see you reach up
and put your paws around my neck
like you used to do, so many years ago.

I love you, Abby.
I love you more than stars in the sky,
and water in the oceans.
I love you beyond this universe.
Into that great beyond,
and by God,
I will be with you there
one day.

I love you to the Moon πŸŒ™
and back
and again 
πŸŒ™and again.



Thursday, August 03, 2023

Another turn around the sun

Today's it's your birthday!

My beautiful girl is 12.

I can't believe how quickly 
the time has gone.

She still seems like a kitten.

Happy happy birthday Miss Annabelle!


Thursday, July 13, 2023

Mama Mina

I'll always remember lil mama.



Saturday, July 01, 2023

Friday, January 13, 2023

One Week

It's been a week.


It's hard to wrap my head around everything.
There was really  no warning that anything was
imminent. I was in complete shock. I found him
semi conscious last Friday morning and rushed
him to the Vet, and there wasn't anything they could
do that wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome.


I miss him so very much.
Even though I knew, with him being 20
his days were much shorter. 
Still, when it happens you're never prepared.
I'm just now finally getting my feet
back  under me.
But it isn't about me.
Or maybe it is?
I'm the one still here,
and he isn't. So I have to deal with
how everything plays out.

I wish they never had to leave us.
Hold your kittens tightly,
you never know.
You just never know.



Sunday, January 08, 2023

I'll Be Seeing You

I''ll be seeing you
in all the old
familiar places...

That this heart of mine embraces
all day through....

I'll be seeing you
in every lovely summer's day

In everything that's bright and gay...

I'll always think of you that way.

I'll find you in the morning sun

and when the night is new

I'll be looking at the moon

But I'll be seeing you.

It will take awhile for me to be able to process
the enormity of Ping being gone.
You'd think you get 'use to' losses,
but each one hits you like a ton of bricks.
The GriefMonster pulls up to your door
and surprises you with a bag full of
new and powerful emotions.
All of those familiar everyday occurrences
suddenly greet you and smack you
across the face,
and your faced with an empty space
where someone you loved used to be.

Grief is so multifaceted.
You don't lose just once
you lose every single day.
Each one is a new prick of the heart.


Ping was such a character.
He really was.
I considered him my 'movie star' cat.
He was so photogenic and 
so handsome. He was very insecure though.
He carried that his entire life.
But he was a good loving boy.
He never lost that either.
But now he has rejoined his brother Jinx
who went before him by 14 months.
I envision him restored to his 
youthful form, running and jumping
and playing with all of his
friends and family who were there
to greet him as he came across the beautiful
Rainbow Bridge.


I will miss him.
20 years wasn't enough.


Saturday, January 07, 2023

Ping Forever

Thank you to Ann from Zoolarty 
for the lovely graphic for our beloved Ping.


It's been said,
"time heals all wounds",
I do not agree.
The wound remains.
In time,
the mind, 
protecting it's sanity,
covers them with scar tissue
and the pain lessens.
it is never the same.


Friday, January 06, 2023

Bestest Boy Ever

Bestest Boy Ever

1-1-2003 ~ 1/6/2023 12:24pm


we grieve the one we lost.
What many don't understand
is that it's only part of it.
We grieve what we had,
and all we shared.
We grieve all the important
things that they will miss.
We grieve the future
we were supposed to have together.
We grieve.

I just can't talk about it right now.


Sunday, December 25, 2022

Lessons from the Cat & the Christmas Tree


                                                             Share your gifts;

                                                            Bring JOY to others;

                                                       Be a light in the darkness;

                                                    We all fall over sometimes;

                                                    You were born to SPARKLE, 

                               even if your garland's a little droopy sometimes; 


                                                    It's okay to be a little tilted.

                                                         Merry Christmas to all


Saturday, October 01, 2022

Happy 19th Birthday Boo

Happy birthday Boo!
It was surprising but she turned 19!

It's a beautiful sunny day here today, which is not
at all unusual after a Hurricane passes by.
Sort of like a vacuum cleaning sucking up
all the debris.

Hurricane #Ian will be one for the record books.
Especially for SW FL.
I for one cannot even fathom what it must be like
to find your entire world destroyed as savagely as
Ian did to the SW FL coastline.
I am sure once all everything is recorded we will 
find the topography of the coastline is forever changed.
It is going to take years to rebuild, if it is rebuilt.
I suspect there are a lot of folks who will 
never rebuild on an barrier island.
My heart breaks for those people.
I cannot put into words how sad I am for 
incredible destruction that happened to my state.
It began in SW FL but there was so much more
throughout the state, and it's not done yet.
All the water is still flowing up and out
to the Atlantic and causing flooding, and 
infrastructure failings to happen. On I-75 near Ft Myers
the traffic was being diverted because a levee failed
and flooded, homes within the area had to be evacuated.
It's just beyond words.

Locally we had minor flooding, and that even feels
odd to say "minor". If it was your home with even
inches of water, you had to take your flooring up
and drywall out of the walls and furniture was lost.
It's miniscule compared to your home being washed
away but it's hard nevertheless.


I hate Hurricanes. Being what is now considered elderly
and alone I feel a lot more vulnerable than ever before,
even though I lived my entire life in this state.
The season isn't over yet either.
Another wave came off Africa, where it heads 
no one knows.
I'm not sure Ian is finished yet.
It might have impacts to New England depending
on where it ultimately goes.

It's ironic, Boo, Ping & Jinx went through Hurricane Charley
in 2004 with us and it literally took the same path as
Ian. Now 18 years later it's just Boo & workshop cat Ping
still with me dealing with this again.

Hope things are better in your part of the world.
We'll be fine, for now at least, even if we feel more
vulnerable than ever.

Happy birthday to my sweet loving Boo,
who got evacuated with me (and Annabelle) during Ian.