Friday, January 13, 2023

One Week

It's been a week.


It's hard to wrap my head around everything.
There was really  no warning that anything was
imminent. I was in complete shock. I found him
semi conscious last Friday morning and rushed
him to the Vet, and there wasn't anything they could
do that wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome.


I miss him so very much.
Even though I knew, with him being 20
his days were much shorter. 
Still, when it happens you're never prepared.
I'm just now finally getting my feet
back  under me.
But it isn't about me.
Or maybe it is?
I'm the one still here,
and he isn't. So I have to deal with
how everything plays out.

I wish they never had to leave us.
Hold your kittens tightly,
you never know.
You just never know.



Sunday, January 08, 2023

I'll Be Seeing You

I''ll be seeing you
in all the old
familiar places...

That this heart of mine embraces
all day through....

I'll be seeing you
in every lovely summer's day

In everything that's bright and gay...

I'll always think of you that way.

I'll find you in the morning sun

and when the night is new

I'll be looking at the moon

But I'll be seeing you.

It will take awhile for me to be able to process
the enormity of Ping being gone.
You'd think you get 'use to' losses,
but each one hits you like a ton of bricks.
The GriefMonster pulls up to your door
and surprises you with a bag full of
new and powerful emotions.
All of those familiar everyday occurrences
suddenly greet you and smack you
across the face,
and your faced with an empty space
where someone you loved used to be.

Grief is so multifaceted.
You don't lose just once
you lose every single day.
Each one is a new prick of the heart.


Ping was such a character.
He really was.
I considered him my 'movie star' cat.
He was so photogenic and 
so handsome. He was very insecure though.
He carried that his entire life.
But he was a good loving boy.
He never lost that either.
But now he has rejoined his brother Jinx
who went before him by 14 months.
I envision him restored to his 
youthful form, running and jumping
and playing with all of his
friends and family who were there
to greet him as he came across the beautiful
Rainbow Bridge.


I will miss him.
20 years wasn't enough.


Saturday, January 07, 2023

Ping Forever

Thank you to Ann from Zoolarty 
for the lovely graphic for our beloved Ping.


It's been said,
"time heals all wounds",
I do not agree.
The wound remains.
In time,
the mind, 
protecting it's sanity,
covers them with scar tissue
and the pain lessens.
it is never the same.


Friday, January 06, 2023

Bestest Boy Ever

Bestest Boy Ever

1-1-2003 ~ 1/6/2023 12:24pm


we grieve the one we lost.
What many don't understand
is that it's only part of it.
We grieve what we had,
and all we shared.
We grieve all the important
things that they will miss.
We grieve the future
we were supposed to have together.
We grieve.

I just can't talk about it right now.


Sunday, December 25, 2022

Lessons from the Cat & the Christmas Tree


                                                             Share your gifts;

                                                            Bring JOY to others;

                                                       Be a light in the darkness;

                                                    We all fall over sometimes;

                                                    You were born to SPARKLE, 

                               even if your garland's a little droopy sometimes; 


                                                    It's okay to be a little tilted.

                                                         Merry Christmas to all


Saturday, October 01, 2022

Happy 19th Birthday Boo

Happy birthday Boo!
It was surprising but she turned 19!

It's a beautiful sunny day here today, which is not
at all unusual after a Hurricane passes by.
Sort of like a vacuum cleaning sucking up
all the debris.

Hurricane #Ian will be one for the record books.
Especially for SW FL.
I for one cannot even fathom what it must be like
to find your entire world destroyed as savagely as
Ian did to the SW FL coastline.
I am sure once all everything is recorded we will 
find the topography of the coastline is forever changed.
It is going to take years to rebuild, if it is rebuilt.
I suspect there are a lot of folks who will 
never rebuild on an barrier island.
My heart breaks for those people.
I cannot put into words how sad I am for 
incredible destruction that happened to my state.
It began in SW FL but there was so much more
throughout the state, and it's not done yet.
All the water is still flowing up and out
to the Atlantic and causing flooding, and 
infrastructure failings to happen. On I-75 near Ft Myers
the traffic was being diverted because a levee failed
and flooded, homes within the area had to be evacuated.
It's just beyond words.

Locally we had minor flooding, and that even feels
odd to say "minor". If it was your home with even
inches of water, you had to take your flooring up
and drywall out of the walls and furniture was lost.
It's miniscule compared to your home being washed
away but it's hard nevertheless.


I hate Hurricanes. Being what is now considered elderly
and alone I feel a lot more vulnerable than ever before,
even though I lived my entire life in this state.
The season isn't over yet either.
Another wave came off Africa, where it heads 
no one knows.
I'm not sure Ian is finished yet.
It might have impacts to New England depending
on where it ultimately goes.

It's ironic, Boo, Ping & Jinx went through Hurricane Charley
in 2004 with us and it literally took the same path as
Ian. Now 18 years later it's just Boo & workshop cat Ping
still with me dealing with this again.

Hope things are better in your part of the world.
We'll be fine, for now at least, even if we feel more
vulnerable than ever.

Happy birthday to my sweet loving Boo,
who got evacuated with me (and Annabelle) during Ian. 


Monday, September 05, 2022

And So It Is

I really don't know how to begin this post.
There's a lot I wanted to write down but
the words seem to be hard to come by.


In 2005 I started blogging because I wanted
a journal about Abby. I wanted something
that was as permanent as it could be, and it 
turned into a great deal more than just talking
about Abby, but it was borne in the idea that she
was the thing it all centered around.
When I lost her, I went down a very steep dark
road, and it's been a rocky one ever since.
My life has been no harder or easier than
anyone else's but we all deal with things
differently. I chose to share some of my deep
inner insecurities and sadness and I know
that isn't 'fun' read by any stretch of the imagination.


But, things have changed.
Blogging has changed.
Life is so different.
And so much harder.
There are so very few of the us
left who began
cat blogging from the mid-2000's,
and most all of the cats,
if not all,
have all gone to
the Rainbow Bridge.
Every single cat that passes over,
I feel a deep sadness over, 
as I'm sure you
do as well. 
Maybe some more than
others because you knew them more.
But I feel the loss because of my own
cat losses,
 and we all know the feelings
that come out when we have to say


I think I've come to the conclusion
that it's time to take a pause.
Maybe a fork in the road.
I didn't want to leave and not explain
because I look back at the list on my feeds
and see so many blogs and one day
they stopped.
I still wonder why.
(Still wondering)

I feel I owe you, 
those of you who
drop by a final word.
I've stepped back so much from social media
because there is so much struggle
and sadness I carry inside.
I've finally come to understand a great deal 
of it but I still carry it.
A lot of days it grows heavy to 
carry it.
And it's made me draw inward more 
than ever, and then of course
the entire world was forced to draw inward
because of Covid19 and that only made
life more isolating.

I know that by drawing myself off  I was
not seeing much traffic, and I really do
understand that. But it's a self filling prophecy
that when you do "x", "y" happens.
And it did for me.
It was my doing by not engaging that led
to not being engaged with.

So I think a hiatus is called for.
I will post from time to time, I still feel so
strongly that it is the story tellers who 
keep alive the memories of those who 
have gone before and I owe it to my Abby,
to post the days of most significance. 
And also the others cats as well.

I thank all who have read this and who have
come and visited with us.
I apologize for not being a better visitor to you
because I wasn't able to do it.
But I do cherish all the memories.
Keep well.
Keep strong.


Saturday, September 03, 2022

Caturday Art

Annabelle is joining the beautiful
Athena for this week's
blog hop.
See you all there!


Saturday, August 27, 2022

Caturday Art

Annabelle is joining the beautiful
Athena for this week's
blog hop.
See you all there!


Thursday, August 25, 2022


March 2006

I can stand by this window and close
my eyes and see you sitting in the window sill.
I wish when I opened my eyes you
were still there.

I love you Abby.
I miss you