When A Heart Breaks

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as like they're here to stay

oh I believe in Yesterday.

~Lennon & Mccartney

***

Yes, it does seem like Yesterday, but indeed today

marks 10 years. 

10 years?

How?

Where did the time go?

I spent some time,

just recently, 

going through the entire postings

from late July 2013 until

the end of August 2013.

I haven't ever done that.

I have to confess,

I wasn't able to go through 

every post even now.

You know my dearest Abby, 

you are never far away in my thoughts.

I miss you just as much this day, as I did the moment your spirit

left your body in my arms.

And there are moments when I still have that gut punch and I 

feel the tremendous loss of you all over again,

but those moments are fewer and far between.

You taught me so much over these past ten years.

You helped me let Gracie go with the understanding it was

best for her rather than fighting a losing battle.

I learned from you that Jinx would tell me in his own

way that it was time to depart and I gave him his wish.

And finally Ping...oh Ping what a guy he was.

You taught me about Grief and Unconditional Love.

So many lessons. Many I'm still learning.

Boo is not far behind all of you, and although she is doing

well for now, I know her time is short.

Then you all will be together again, the Fab Five.

Which will be another big moment in my life.

I know that I need no words to tell you this, because from

my heart to yours there is no need of words.

But I began this blog for you, and I kept it going after you left,

for a while at least. Until it became too hard to keep going.

Wait for me my special one.

Wait for me just up ahead.

One day will be my day to join you.

I can't wait to see you reach up

and put your paws around my neck

like you used to do, so many years ago.

I love you, Abby.

I love you more than stars in the sky,

and water in the oceans.

I love you beyond this universe.

Into that great beyond,

and by God,

I will be with you there

one day.

💗💗💗

I love you to the Moon 🌙

and back

again🌟

and again 

🌙and again.

💜💜💜

 

Another turn around the sun

Today's it's your birthday!

My beautiful girl is 12.

I can't believe how quickly 

the time has gone.

She still seems like a kitten.

Happy happy birthday Miss Annabelle!

 

Mama Mina

I'll always remember lil mama.

Mina.

 

 

Happy Angelic Birthday Abby

Happy Heavenly birthday.

She'd be 24.

 

One Week

It's been a week.

***

It's hard to wrap my head around everything.

There was really  no warning that anything was

imminent. I was in complete shock. I found him

semi conscious last Friday morning and rushed

him to the Vet, and there wasn't anything they could

do that wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome.

***

I miss him so very much.

Even though I knew, with him being 20

his days were much shorter. 

Still, when it happens you're never prepared.

I'm just now finally getting my feet

back  under me.

But it isn't about me.

Or maybe it is?

I'm the one still here,

and he isn't. So I have to deal with

how everything plays out.

***

I wish they never had to leave us.

Hold your kittens tightly,

you never know.

You just never know.

***

 

I'll Be Seeing You

I''ll be seeing you

in all the old

familiar places...

That this heart of mine embraces

all day through....

I'll be seeing you

in every lovely summer's day

In everything that's bright and gay...

I'll always think of you that way.

I'll find you in the morning sun

and when the night is new

I'll be looking at the moon

But I'll be seeing you.

It will take awhile for me to be able to process

the enormity of Ping being gone.

You'd think you get 'use to' losses,

but each one hits you like a ton of bricks.

The GriefMonster pulls up to your door

and surprises you with a bag full of

new and powerful emotions.

All of those familiar everyday occurrences

suddenly greet you and smack you

across the face,

and your faced with an empty space

where someone you loved used to be.

***

Grief is so multifaceted.

You don't lose just once

you lose every single day.

Each one is a new prick of the heart.

***

Ping was such a character.

He really was.

I considered him my 'movie star' cat.

He was so photogenic and 

so handsome. He was very insecure though.

He carried that his entire life.

But he was a good loving boy.

He never lost that either.

But now he has rejoined his brother Jinx

who went before him by 14 months.

I envision him restored to his 

youthful form, running and jumping

and playing with all of his

friends and family who were there

to greet him as he came across the beautiful

Rainbow Bridge.

***

I will miss him.

20 years wasn't enough.

 

Ping Forever

Thank you to Ann from Zoolarty 

for the lovely graphic for our beloved Ping.

***

1/1/2003

1/6/2023

***

It's been said,

"time heals all wounds",

I do not agree.

The wound remains.

In time,

the mind, 

protecting it's sanity,

covers them with scar tissue

and the pain lessens.

But...

it is never the same.

 

Bestest Boy Ever

Bestest Boy Ever

1-1-2003 ~ 1/6/2023 12:24pm

***

Clearly,

we grieve the one we lost.

What many don't understand

is that it's only part of it.

We grieve what we had,

and all we shared.

We grieve all the important

things that they will miss.

We grieve the future

we were supposed to have together.

We grieve.

***

I just can't talk about it right now.

 

Lessons from the Cat & the Christmas Tree

                                   Twinkle

                                                             Share your gifts;

                                                            Bring JOY to others;

                                                       Be a light in the darkness;

                                                    We all fall over sometimes;

                                                    You were born to SPARKLE, 

                               even if your garland's a little droopy sometimes; 

                                                                     AND

                                                    It's okay to be a little tilted.

                                                         Merry Christmas to all

 

Happy 19th Birthday Boo

Happy birthday Boo!

It was surprising but she turned 19!

***

It's a beautiful sunny day here today, which is not

at all unusual after a Hurricane passes by.

Sort of like a vacuum cleaning sucking up

all the debris.

***

Hurricane #Ian will be one for the record books.

Especially for SW FL.

I for one cannot even fathom what it must be like

to find your entire world destroyed as savagely as

Ian did to the SW FL coastline.

I am sure once all everything is recorded we will 

find the topography of the coastline is forever changed.

It is going to take years to rebuild, if it is rebuilt.

I suspect there are a lot of folks who will 

never rebuild on an barrier island.

My heart breaks for those people.

I cannot put into words how sad I am for 

incredible destruction that happened to my state.

It began in SW FL but there was so much more

throughout the state, and it's not done yet.

All the water is still flowing up and out

to the Atlantic and causing flooding, and 

infrastructure failings to happen. On I-75 near Ft Myers

the traffic was being diverted because a levee failed

and flooded, homes within the area had to be evacuated.

It's just beyond words.

***

Locally we had minor flooding, and that even feels

odd to say "minor". If it was your home with even

inches of water, you had to take your flooring up

and drywall out of the walls and furniture was lost.

It's miniscule compared to your home being washed

away but it's hard nevertheless.

***

I hate Hurricanes. Being what is now considered elderly

and alone I feel a lot more vulnerable than ever before,

even though I lived my entire life in this state.

The season isn't over yet either.

Another wave came off Africa, where it heads 

no one knows.

I'm not sure Ian is finished yet.

It might have impacts to New England depending

on where it ultimately goes.

***

It's ironic, Boo, Ping & Jinx went through Hurricane Charley

in 2004 with us and it literally took the same path as

Ian. Now 18 years later it's just Boo & workshop cat Ping

still with me dealing with this again.

Hope things are better in your part of the world.

We'll be fine, for now at least, even if we feel more

vulnerable than ever.

***

Happy birthday to my sweet loving Boo,

who got evacuated with me (and Annabelle) during Ian.