Paw Prints On My Heart

2012-2026

October 16,2026

I know it's been a long long time since I've posted.

It seems like I only update with sad news.

I knew one day I'd have to come and write this but I was

hoping that would be a long long time off.

It was not to be.

I can't put into words what the loss of a cat is.

But, when someone tries to say "well it was only 

an animal", I think how little they know.

That little cat was with me everyday, everywhere.

When you got up, when you came home, when you

lay your head down. Each day was filled with a

routine around that little cat.

That little cat never judged, never complained,

never cared how you looked, she only 

gave you all of her love and loyalty.

Then one day, she asked you for your full

love and loyalty back as repayment for all

she had given. She told you it was time for her

to make that trip away to a place you couldn't go yet.

It was a request you knew you couldn't turn down,

even though every fiber of your being wanted to.

But you did it anyway because that was the deal.

She loved you her whole life.

You loved her back.

You could never refuse her anything.

So she traveled to a place where her being, her soul,

her spirit was restored.

Now you have to pick up the pieces of that empty

house which once seemed so full, but now

is so quiet with silence.

One day you know there will be smiles and peace

again, but not now. Not for a long time.

Humans have far to complicated emotions, and their

minds work backwards sometimes.

Mine certainly is going back a great deal,

reliving many things, some very good, some very bad.

Annabelle was pure sweetness.

She was gentle and easy going.

Such a joy.

She loved playing and bedeviling her sister Boo, and being

doted on by her big brother Jinx. I'm sure they greeted her

warmly. She was devoted to me, and I to her. My ying to her

yang. She was a only cat after losing my whole

tribe. It's been 22 years since no paws have run

through this house. It's very very quiet and clean, and 

what I'd give to have fur and litter all over.

It's only been a bit more than two weeks, and I count the 

moments. I will contine to I know because I've done it

too many times before. I also recognize that weeks, months, years

from now I won't be in this acute mourning.

Life goes on as they say, the morning comes,

the birds sing, the world moves whether we like it or not,

and no one cares whether our little world has

stopped spinning.

Life and time push us forward.

Maybe that is because if it didn't, we would never try to

keep up and force us to.

But, for this time,

my world has had a light go out.

I will be forever grateful, total and completely grateful

that this 5 pound ball of fluff came into my life 

on 12/3/13. She helped me so much in my deepest grief 

of losing my beloved Abby. She helped me through 

all the losses I've had since and through so much that 

life through at me. I am indebted to her and always will

be. She was love in fur. Now she is one of my special angel

guides.

Just yesterday, as I was sitting on the porch, a yellow butterfly did

some crazy aerial acrobatics in my side yard. Ive never seen a

butterfly do that before. I want to believe it was Annabelle.

A yellow butterfly would be perfection of her.

I'd like to believe she was telling me she's ok, and not to cry.

I'd like to believe she was checking in on me.

So I will take it as a sign.

I'm OK Mom.

I love you

See ya around.

Yeah Annabelle I'll see you around.

I love you too.

Always and forever and ever....

Until we're together again.