Daddy

Christmas 1958

My Dad, Mother, Brother & me

This photo of my Dad on his horse is one of

my personal favorites.

I have the original 8x10 hanging in my den.

I have 25 years of cards he sent to me.

The one he sent me his last Christmas.

***
Today you would be 91.

This was my 3rd birthday without you.

It still doesn't feel right.

I know if it ever will.
No, I know the answer,
it won't.

I also know my whole world
will never feel

safe or complete again.

How could it when your Father
 is gone?

I talk to you everyday.
I look up and hope you can hear me.

It's just you can't answer me.
At least not in ways I can hear.

I still have those few voice messages
you left so I can

hear your voice.

"I'm just checkin on ya", 
you'd say and that will

always be one of your catchphrases.

I wish you could just call and check on me,

and that the world would feel right again.
For just that brief moment it certainly would.

But it won't happen,
that's just not the way it goes.

I miss you Daddy.

It probably surprises you if you're looking down on me

from Heaven, how much I do.

But, you are deeply missed, and until I see you 

again you always will be.

I love you forever.

Happy birthday.

***

**

*

...

but he wasn't around,

and that's the thing 

when your parents die,

you feel like instead of going

into every fight with backup,

you are going into every fight

alone

~Mitch Albom