Such a tiny little box.
That holds the contents of half of my heart.
How can it be?
This odyseey that began July 27th?
How does life appear normal one day, and then the next your world is blown to smithereens? How does that happen? The realist in me,says it happens every day to countless people everywhere on this earth, and I bet it seems as alien to them as it does to me.
***
I have been trying to find a way to bring this together for myself, and although I can't seem to quite bring my mind into focus on it, I do believe one thing. Abby was given to me on loan. I only had her with me briefly and then I had to release her on her next journey, and my next journey. We have to journey apart from one another for what reason that I do not understand. I am not meant to understand. There will continue to be much sadness of my part until I can find a comprehension of Abby's sudden decline and passage to the Rainbow Bridge. It is normal for many questions to arise in one's heart about a great many things, and a feeling of guilt over things done and things undone. I know Abby would not want me to doubt myself and riddle myself with these guilt's, but I do and probably will for some time until I can find some peace.
It seems like it's a human trait to look for reasons behind events and sometimes there is none. Which I think tends to keep us in more turmoil than if we had a understanding.
***
I do know one thing and I hold to this with all my might: there was never a day, never a day, that I took for granted Abby's life with me. She was a gift, my most precious gift, and I never once assumed any aspect of it. I loved her and told her every single day. I still tell her that every single day.
My little soul kitty.
***
Abby is far better now that she is released from her illnesses, and I am grateful that she is restored to health and her youthful beauty and that she is free.
She is now a shining star up in the heavenly skies each night.
And she is the breeze that blows each day.
***
I love you Abby
to the
MOON
and
BACK
again
and
again
and
again.
But I'd give anything to hold you...
one more day.
=^..^=
ReplyDelete~~~~~~~~~~~~~
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our hugs too.
ReplyDeleteThe box/urn is lovely, as is the entire memorial. We hope it brings you some measure of comfort.
ReplyDeleteThe older I get, the more I think there's no rhyme or reason to most things in life. It WOULD be easier if we could make some sense of it all, but Life doesn't seem to flow that way, much of the time. It's a curse and blessing both, to want to find reasons and meaning for everything, IMO.
We all have a certain number of heartbeats, and sadly--oh so sadly--nothing changes that.
(((Hugs))) and purrs.
Purrs... someday you will fully know and understand that Abby never left you. Ever.
ReplyDeletePurrs and loves. Beautiful remembrance of a beautiful girl. One who loved you just as much. To the moon, and back again. xoxox
ReplyDeleteThis beauty is awe-inspiring! The header, the writing, the photos are beyond awesome and it's all because of the dearest angel girl, Abby! Big mancat purrrrrrs from me and the boys.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful remembrance of such a beautiful girl. Hugs from M.
ReplyDeleteWe think there will come a day, though we don't know when, that you will understand all of this. Until then, know that Abby will always be in your heart and soul. Always.
ReplyDeleteHugs, purrs and prayers to you from all of us.
Kitty hugs. Our mama says give yourself time to grieve and be kind to yourself.
ReplyDeleteEmma and Buster
Our butterflies are messengers from Abby too.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard, isn't it? Seeing those little boxes and knowing that a huge part of our heart is inside there. I have Clifford's box on our dining room table right now and always give it a little touch when I go by to say hi.
ReplyDeleteThe Florida Furkids and Mom Sharon
The price we pay for loving is that we have our hearts broken.The pain can be hard to bear at times.
ReplyDeleteBut none of us would give up loving,
because the joy is greater than the loss. We would do it all again in a heartbeat. It just takes time to heal from the loss
Hugs and Purrs
Tillie and Georgia,
Treasure,Tiger,JJ and Julie
and mom Nancy
This is such a beautiful remembrance of your sweet girl and all these things are so beautiful, which is so fitting for her.
ReplyDeleteYes, just one more day. What an amazing dream that is and I share it with you.
It is so difficult, but she will always be with you, just look to your heart and you will find her. She loved you so much and she wouldn't want the sad to last too long, she wouldn't like that. Hugs from all of us
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that Abby is back home with you. The memorial and casket is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThat is a lovely box for Abby. I have a nice box for Max's ashes, which I look at frequently with gratitude. I think you are right, sometimes trying to figure out things we are not meant to understand can keep us from really experiencing life, better to accept the mystery and live deeper into life.
ReplyDeleteHugs and more hugs. Abby's love will always be in your heart to lift you to the moon and back again.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely tribute to your girl. I know she loved her time with you too!
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't second guess yourself or feel any guilt. You did everything for Abby until her last breath. Her resting place is such a nice box. We and mommy hope you have some peace with her back home again. (Mommy says that your book about Street Cat Bob should be arriving in the mail any day. Please let her know when you get it.) Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo
ReplyDeleteLove your shrine for Abby. Pop still has one for Autumn, believe it or not, even though he has me. Abby was special buy I hope you're enjoying your other babies cos they're grieving also.
ReplyDeleteHow beautiful. Abby was a special girl and so is her shrine... especially the one in your heart.
ReplyDeleteLove and purrs from me and the Hotties.
That is very special. We love your shrine to your beautiful little girl
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful tribute... it's how I felt when I lost my Inigo. It's so tragic that we only have them in our lives for a moment...
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwww - your blog blurb says it all. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteSweet angel Abby! We know your journey and mum's will meet up some day and you may both continue to fly to the moon! Take care
x
Abby is so loved. I know she is with you still and the tribute is wonderful! x0x
ReplyDeleteWe love Abby's memorial shrine. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI saw a comment you made on Sparkle the Designer cat's website and had to stop by to see what was going on.
ReplyDeleteI'm so, so sorry to hear about your beautiful Abby. It brings tears to my eyes.
I'm a new follower now - you can find me at threecatsandagirl.com.
All the best to you in this difficult time.
That's a beautiful shrine for your Abby. Sending lots of hugs and purrs.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful box with the kitty on top!!! Sending love and purrs to you.
ReplyDeleteI cry every time I come over here any more. It brings back so many memories of those I've lost. It's a hard road to continue on afterwards, but it was a wonderful journey with each one while they were here.
ReplyDeleteWe are so very sorry for your loss.Our thoughts & prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteTears here, and worlds of love and hugs. I love Abby's memorial shrine. So beautiful. You and Abby will always be together because the breezes will keep blowing and the stars will keep shining.
ReplyDeleteThe box is beautiful! You will see her again one day.
ReplyDeleteYou bring me to think of my special furs. Those who have kneaded my heart with paws and a special bond. I know that some day we shall meet again in that place of wonderful deep love and fun in the sun until we nap in the shade and then do it all again
ReplyDeletePurrs and Love
Timmy Dad and Family
Oh tell me about it. Just ONE MORE DAY for all the pals, the friends the family I have loved.
ReplyDeleteMay your spirits unite again, may the love rekindle, may the hope never die and the day come when you meet again.
The special box you had made for Abby is really beautiful as is your special altar for her. You are constantly in my thoughts and I send you love and prayers.
ReplyDelete