Earlier this week after another breakdown of tears, I got my camera and went outside. I don't normally do this near dusk,but for some inexplicable reason I did this day.When I am outside, it always makes me feel close to Abby, so I talk to her, I guess I'm talking to the heavens and I hope she hears me. This early evening was no different, and I was telling her just how much I loved her over and over and over again. Then I look up and I see a formation of a heart within this one cloud, at least in my mind's eye it is. I took it as a sign that Abby or God was telling me that they heard me and sent me a sign of returning that love. So, I stood there dumbstruck with more tears rolling down my cheeks and I took as many pictures of it that I could, watching it as it ebbed slowly away by the movements of the wind. I was very struck by the symbolism as I watched the heart dissipate and dissolve. Is that a metaphor for my sorrow? Or is it a symbol of my broken heart as it slowly fades and vanishes?
I take this as a gift from my baby girl.
There was comfort in seeing this, and sadness in seeing it go. Much like it was when Abby flew away.
But I don't think that there are any coincidences in life, just harmony and synchronicity of nature.
Completely faded away. Just like it was never there.
But today we also wanted to bring you this slice of Boo.
Mom can't tell you why she loves this picture of Miss Boo's ear but she does. Miss Boo was playing with a nip nanner which you can see a bit of in the foreground. But, this picture just makes Mom smile and today that is a good thing, because it's Mom birthday. She is still pretty sad, and sad today because it is one of those "firsts" you hear humans talk about. It's her first birthday without Abby. Today is 24 days without our Abby. Still so hard ,and we know it will continue to be hard. So many of the holidays are going to start coming and it will be all new "firsts" again without Abby. No more Halloweens or Thanksgivings, no more Secret Santas for Abby, no Christmas packages for her to get into. She loved to get into the bags in search of the nip when she got her Secret Santa, she was all about the boxes and bags. Oh my did she love boxes.
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Boo: We sure miss that little tiny tail less girl. Well Mom does, she hasn't seen any sign that we do. But, Abby sorta bossed us all around, and well we are all a nice group of kitties and we basically go along to get along, and Abby wasn't that type of girl. She had a iron paw and she used it all the time with us. But we're still gonna wish Momma a happy birthday today even if she is older than dirt. We still love her.
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Please feel free to light a light for Abby:
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ABBY'S CANDLE : LINK
Purrs to your Mama on this birthday. And I am glad you are all there to make her feel okay. I bet you miss Abby even if you don't show it. I mean, you're being strong for your Mama right?
ReplyDeleteWow, that was just beautiful seeing that heart in the sky, a sure sign from your sweet Abby. Happy Birthday to Momma! And many more...Clooney has his jazz paws going for ya and we wish you a year ahead filled with blessings and sweetness. We hope you have a really nice Birthday today.
ReplyDeleteThere was definitely in a message in the sky for you. I know this won't be the happiest of birthdays for you, but do be good to yourself today.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely message of comfort for you. It is really hard but it does get better. Happy birthday.
ReplyDeleteYour love and memories of Abby are in your mind, where all memories reside. Anything you see in the outside world that remind you of her should be cherished.
ReplyDeleteOur purrs to you.
Happy Birthday to mom! Wow - that was a great capture of the "sign" from Abby. Talk about being in the right place at the right time - it had to be a signal from Abby.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet message in the sky to you! Like so many other firsts without Abby, today will have its sadness, but you got a special message from Abby for it, too.
ReplyDeleteHave a happy birthday. Many purrs pawhugs from all of us!
What a beautiful pre birthday gift the heart in the clouds was. It truly is very clear. Hi and chin scritchies to Boo and all the other kitties.
ReplyDeleteI know how much you're still hurting, but I do hope you'll be able to find many reasons to have a Happy Birthday, my friend. big hugs xoxo
ReplyDeleteTHAT WAS TRULY A SIGN FROM ABOVE AND ABBY LETTING YOUR KNOW YOU ARE ALWAYS IN HER HEART.
ReplyDeleteWE WENT TO THE CANDLE LINK...BUT WE DIDN'T (MOM IS SLOW) KNOW WHAT TO DO THERE.
WE'LL VISIT AGAIN
HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF
We're going to wish your mom a happy birthday anyway, because we know that Abby would want her to treasure her days and her life.
ReplyDeleteRE: lighting candles: I lit one for Chumley every Wednesday (the day he died) for an entire year, on Gratefulness.org. It was my ritual for him, and after that full year I made a conscious decision to stop, to let the mourning go. Even so, it took another 6 months beyond that to really feel I'd moved on sufficiently.
Maybe deciding on certain rituals, and for a very specific length of time, will be of help to you too. I don't know, I'm just throwing it out for consideration.
(((Hugs)))
The cloud was a message to you from Abby telling you she loves you and is watching over you. We are sending your Mom birthday wishes. We lit a candle for Abby only yesterday but will light another today as it is your Momma's birthday.
ReplyDeleteLuv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
What a beautiful birthday present Abby sent you. Even though you can't see her anymore, she is telling you that she is still around.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your MOM !!!
ReplyDeleteAnd, so sorry again about Abby.
It does get better with time.
I know all too well how this goes.
I saw the heart. I love cloud formations. If we don't believe in things, what's the point really.
No one knows anything for sure. So, I believe that my cats and dogs will greet me when I go.
And, if I'm wrong, at least they were all with me in my soul til the end.
So, you go on and see things and know that she is still with you.
xo,
JC and The Purr and Fur Gang
Well first Happy Birthday to you Mom!! And of course it was a sign to help you know she is there for you still. When I lost Fin and I would be so sad Quill would eat his kibble into a smiley face and I just knew it was Finny. I know she's still here with me.
ReplyDeletetry to enjoy your birthday catmama, we're sure that's what abby wants you to do.
ReplyDeleteemma and buster
Warmest of birthday wishes to you although I know it's bittersweet. The heart in the clouds is so beautiful, just like Abby.
ReplyDeleteI knew in my heart that she would send you a message.
ReplyDeleteabby's mom...abby sended that heart two ewe aza birthday gift...it wuz a wee bit earl lee, but therz knot a clock in site in heaven.... sew we think her did a grate job on sendin it az close az possy bull
ReplyDeleteN all oh uz in TT hope ewe haza grate day, eat plentee oh cake N mice creem, hay, give it a try....hope ya get lotz oh pie, donuts, flounder, mackerull, salmon, toona, perch, noe burd, ham samiches fries N we hope ewe getz a 2014 CATillax car in yur fav o rite color !!!
enjoy; abby wood want ya two
xoxox
Happy birthday, mom Debra! We know it's a sad one but we hope you can remember the ones when Abby was here and smile.
ReplyDeleteOh Debra it is your birthday??? Sending you much love, and you are right, Abby DID send you a heart from Heaven!
ReplyDeletexoxo
That was, without a doiubt, a sign from your dear sweet Abby. She will always be in your heart. Always.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a blessed birthday, Mom Debra.
Off to light a candle for Abby.
But true love never fades away...the heart was there to remind you of that. Love is all around you,even if you can no longer "see" it and it is especially in your heart where your little Abby will live forever.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to you :) Remember to celebrate all the small joys that remain in your life.XOXO
Love,
the critters in the cottage xo
Hi Boo! Wish your Mom a Happy Birthday for me.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your Mom.
ReplyDeleteThe heart in the sky from Abby was beautiful. So glad your Mom got a picture of it so she can look at it when she is feeling down.
Boo, we are purring that your blood work comes back with lower calcium levels. We bet that would be the best birthday present your Mom could get.
That was definitively a heart in that cloud. Yes, it was a message.
ReplyDeleteSending you purrrrrs.
Hugs, Bugsy and Knuckles
Happy Birthday! The heart cloud was a special gift and the pics are forever :-) I love the new header too. I've been in NYC and offline.
ReplyDeleteWow,that is so great to see that heart in the sky. How terrific. We know Abby is watching over you from up there. And that is a great picture of Miss Boo's ear. We know you miss that Abby girl a lot and there sure isn't anything wrong with that. Take good care.
ReplyDeleteI had a lot of different experinces similar to that, after Fisher left. The neatest thing about it was I never once thought I was crazy. Sometimes we just know things.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful heart to see in the cloud. It surely was sent from Abby to send you love for your birthday.
ReplyDeleteWarmest birthday wishes! There is no mistaking the heart in the cloud formation. Perhaps it was an early birthday message from Abby.
ReplyDeletemine Abby's heart is as big as the sky - and just as beautiful
ReplyDeletepurrs n nosekissies - your forever adoring floofy cocoapuff meezerman Sammy
Happy Purrfday AbbysMom!!
We like your sunny ear too Boo :)
ReplyDeleteWe also wish your Mom a Happy Birthday :)
We think the heart cloud was Abby's way of sending her birthday wishes too.
She knew you needed to see it.
Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
Treasure,Tiger, JJ and Julie
Happy Birthday Debra! So sorry you had to spend your birthday withou tAbby there to celebrate with you. Mom says that she too saw that cloud as a heart, and thinks it was Abby's way of sending you her heart and love for your birthday. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo
ReplyDeleteWe send your mom lots of birthday wishes and headbumps, Boo.
ReplyDeleteWonderful photo of the cloud heart sent to your mom on her birthday from Angel Abby.
Purrs,
Mindy
Moe
Cookie
Mike
Happy Birthday to your Mom! The heart in the sky was definitely from Angel Abby, sending Mom lots of love on her Birthday.
ReplyDeleteOh that heart was so beautiful and had I been fortunate enough to have seen such a heart filling sight when Admiral passed away, I would have taken it the same way. Boo darling, Gracie, Ping...help momma.
ReplyDeleteWOW! That is a wonderful birthday gift for Mom!! Happy Birthday xox
ReplyDeleteWe loved reading these comments - the ones from LP and Fuzzy especially. We want to reiterate what they said about caring for yourself - and yes, we too know that the heart was a gift to you - a special message of love.
ReplyDeleteDad and we cats feels that this was a sign. A sign that love is forever and that Abby is watching and listening.
ReplyDeleteWe pray you keep hearing the messages as they give healing. We never forget, we never stop loving, we always feel the loss but it changes from raw pain to fond memories. We do not know how this happens, but, have felt it in our hearts with those we have lost over the bridge.
Hi
ReplyDeleteWe know that pain -- the missing is the hardest part. We have to keep telling ourselves that our beloved is safe now.
Abby had the very best mom, she had the best life, and left you... heartbroken :-(
Always remember the wonderful times. Remember, she left you but, she felt safe, and loved.
I know your pain so well.
Never forget you are not alone.
Love, Rosemary and the boys, Miles and Pierro