#TBT

C. July 2013

***

It's been 41 months or 1249 days today.

This photo is from some of the last photos

I took of her before...before life as I knew it

would be irreparably changed forever.

I see now that Grief is something that one never

gets over, you simply learn to live with it, but

it never leaves you. It changes you,

and you have to learn to adjust to it's ebbs

and flows and title waves.

For me, I have to mark time. I have to keep track of it

It's my nature to be pragmatic and count the steps.

I used to think each day was one day more

where she was removed from my daily life.

But I've since come to see it as I'm one day

closer to joining her where she is.

Not in a maudlin sense but in a progression of my

Journey. She's up ahead of me on the pathway,

just around the corner which I cannot see around,

but she's there, and waiting. She is waiting for me.

It will be such a joyful reunion.

One day.

But until then I simply miss her.

My heart has a emptiness inside of it.

It still beats and it still loves.

The aching and the sadness have lessen by time

But the absence of the heart

that will never stop.

Not until my heart stops beating

and I find the end of my pathway

to the one thing that means everything to me.

***
I love you Abby

to the Moon and back...

I love you.