Mr Jinx
***
It's been a little over a week but we can't help
but still have emotions about Jinx not being here.
Even when you know in that part of your soul
that the time had come, you still can't find
a way to accept it.
On a purely objective level, anyone outside
myself would have advised to let him go before
I did. There is much debate on both sides
amongst everyone, but this decision has
to be right for the one making it.
I don't judge anyone on when or how they
come to their choice. It's purely up to them.
Only knowing if your animal was in acute
agony would make that a totally different choice.
Jinx wasn't.
He was battling time, and he was losing.
None of us escapes it.
***
But, even though it's over and done,
it takes a long while for the heart and soul
to catch up with the mind.
***
With Grief, I find I fall into the category
who must write out my feelings.
I think somehow it helps me understand
and my hope is it may help someone else too.
Grief is such a complex & nearly taboo subject.
But it is something that touches us all.
At some point, everyone loses
someone who is the 'world' to them.
That is when you cross over into the land
of loss and you begin a journey down a road
that never ends.
I'm not saying you don't recover, I'm saying
it stays with you forever and changes you,
and you will come out differently
after you emerge from the fog of Grief.
***
And so it goes...picking up the pieces, looking
at the past, and wondering so much about
the present. I just wish that things could stop being so hard.
I have a quote posted to my bulletin board: "Life's hard. Choose joy anyway."
ReplyDeleteI try to remember that when dark thoughts, sadness or grief overtake me. Sending you hugs; Derry sends purrs. ♥
I love this photo of Jinx. We all deal with grief differently and if writing it out helps you then that is what you should do. Sending you hugs. XO
ReplyDeleteA little over a week is no time. Of course your emotions for Jinx are still raw and will be for some time to come. He spent his life with you and left his place indelibly in your heart.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs!!
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Matilda & Matt
That sweetie boy, it's tough.
ReplyDeleteYou write beautifully about your grief. Writing has always been therapeutic for me as well. Jinx was a part of your life for a long time so it's understandable you feel such a hole, and will continue to do so until you get used to a "new normal".
ReplyDeleteI wish things weren't so hard too.
ReplyDeleteEvery loss is different; so is every reaction to it. You knew Jinx best; you knew what he was going through best. only you could have made the decision you did, when you did. All of us who have been there understand.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you as you travel on this hard path in your life.
ReplyDelete