Monday, September 02, 2013

Mancat Monday

An intent looking Mr Jinx.
He wasn't too happy about me taking his pictures.
He is no "poser".
Both he and Boo are reluctant models.
Now his brother Ping will model all day long.
He loves the attention.
Today marks 3 weeks since Abby left.
The first sentence in C.S Lewis's beautiful book A Grief Observed is, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.". Yet when the world collapses, and that rug has been pulled out from underneath your feet, you feel lost. I feel lost. I feel powerless and disconnected. It feels like I've lost control of my world, and I see the fragility of life. I feel like not only have I lost something I cared profoundly about, I feel like I have lost an entire way of life. All the routines, all the everyday normal typical habits all came to an abrupt stop. A FULL stop.
For myself, I have found that talking about this loss is a way of healing. It is not the way for everyone. It just feels like it is what I must do. It is helping me heal and to get it out of my system. It is just pouring out. I feel that each time I open up it starts a healing process of acceptance and exorcises the pain, and it takes the raw torment that would otherwise fester and exposes it. Plus, I just want to talk about Abby. I just want to say her name, and tell her stories and share her pictures. Sharing her makes me remember, all the good things, and a few of the naughty. I just need to say I dearly miss her and what it feels like to me to miss her. I just need to talk out the feelings of pain,guilt,and disbelief. Speaking about all of this somehow gives validation to my feelings, and sharing it with those who understands corroborates my experience and it helps break me out of the isolation and to be heard. So many times all anyone wants is to simply be heard.
Abby's Daddy again wanted me to tell you how grateful he is for all of the gentle understanding and loving supportive comments and actions. I am deeply humbled and grateful. It warms my heart to see the love for Abby.
My beautiful Abby.
Thank you from all of us.


  1. You are looking very handsome Mr. Jinx. Are you listening closely to what your Mama says? I hope so. Hello handsome Ping.

  2. Well you should model more. You're so handome!

    You do what you need to do to heal. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Abby has a very special place in our hearts and we know many feel the same way. XOXOXO

  3. Awwww, such a handsome Mr. Jinx! :)

    I have been offline for a little while, but I am back. I am sending lots of love and (((((((hugs)))))))). It is a wonderful thing for you to talk about Abby and share her, and the love you and Abby shared will live forever and ever.


  4. That is a gorgeous picture of Mr Jinx. Losing one of our cherished kitties is always so very painful...losing a soul or heart kitty is unlike anything else I've ever experienced...the loss is so profound and deep. A beautiful thing about the CB is that we share in the love and the loss of everyone else's precious kitties. I so miss your Abby too. Continuing to hold you in my thoughts, heart and prayers.

  5. I just learned about your blog from the wonderful comment you left on Bear's. This is a beautiful blog with your heart all over it. I am so sorry about the loss of your Angel Abby. I hope your grief and tears will soon turn to wonderful memories and smiles. Our furry kids will always bring joy to our hearts. Bear'sMomHUGs.

  6. Awwwwwww angel Abby! Mum misses you so so so so much! Please continue to soothe her heart with the gentle beat of your angel wings and sprinkle stardust on her wounded soul.

    Mr Jinx! You are a handsome boy! Take care

  7. We love to hear about Abby. She was such a special girl, and I know how I felt (and still feel) about our Inigo. It's so hard to let go of such special ones.

  8. It's a terrific shot of Mr. Jinx, even if he isn't impressed with the camera.

    We all deal with our grief differently, no right or wrong, it just IS.

    Purrs and peace.

  9. Heloo. My name is Fat Eddy (actually now it is mostly just Ed, 'cause I lost all that extra weight that I had as a boy cat). I had to drop by your site when I saw the pics. I am also a grey and white cat and I believe I look quite a bit like Angel Abby. My lady peep is going to post some current pics there very soon. Come on over and say hey sometime.

  10. It's so good to see Mr. Jinx for mancat Monday! Such a handsome gentleman.

    Losing your heart cat is devastating, and we are here to listen, to talk, and to hug you while you find your way through the experience. Please give Abby's Daddy our love and purrs, too. This is a hard time for him, as well, even though we only hear about things here through your voice.

  11. Abby and I are fast furriends. Much love from both of us.

  12. We lost a member of our extended CB family so we are grieving right along with you. We find comfort in your tributes to her and pictures.

    Mr. Jinx, you are just too handsome of a mancat.

  13. Mr Jinx looks as though he wants to tell you to put the flashy box away! We hope you and your husband will find peace but it will take time.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

  14. Mr. Jinx is such a cute, handsome boy even if he is a reluctant model. It's so funny how they're all different, some love to ham it up and others definitely don't.

    I love C. S. Lewis and A Grief Observed is a very good book (although sad). I hope both you and your husband feel the support of this wonderful community. I think it's wonderful that you have this place to talk about your Abby and share your love of her with all of us who also loved her.

  15. Ya done good Mr. Jinx! Purrs, hugs and love from all of us.

  16. Looking good, Mr Jinx, even if you weren't a happy poser. ;)
    Sending your Momma lots of purrs and hugs.

  17. Purrs to you - I am glad you are finding a way to express your grief and sadness. My human tends to withdraw, and that is probably not good for her.

  18. Whatever makes it easier for you - we're here.


  20. Jinx, we lurve the pouty face!!

    Mommy was thinking the other day that she feels very privileged to bear witness to your grief. Our culture tends to bottle it up and when we experience a loss we don't know how we're supposed to act, or react. Believe it or not, she is learning a lot from you.

    We are continuing to send our positive purrs your way.

  21. c'est bien d'écrire,
    après cette épreuve, et je vous lis avec attention et je vous comprends tellement.

  22. We still love sweet Abby so much. She was a beautiful part of our lives. She lives on through this blog. We know you hurt and know you want to share more of Abby. We all appreciate it. Write as long as it helps you, it helps all of us.
    Kathy & Meow_Girls

  23. Mr Jinx, you do look very handsome :)
    We know you don't like to pose,
    but we do like to see you :)

    We do not mind you talking about Abby.
    She was your soul kitty. It takes time to accept that she is gone.
    We like and feel pleased that you choose to share your memories with us.
    Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
    Treasure,Tiger, JJ and Julie
    and mom Nancy

  24. Everyone has a different way of working through grief! We are here for you to talk to and listen. The CB is great for that. Abby is hugely missed. She is at rest and happy, without pain. Her memory is very sweet and will be sweeter for you as the pain gets less. Caro xx

  25. well Mr Jinx does the airplane ears well! bwaahahaha and you can talk all you need Miss Debra....we are right here listening...purrrrs

  26. Though Mr. Jinx is a reluctant model, that is an excellent photo. Whatever it takes, Debra, for you to heal is what you must do. We hope in time that the pain and heartache will become less intense. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo and our mom, Janet

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  28. That is a lovely picture of Mr Jinx.
    We are all privileged to have been allowed to share your journey with Abby and to now follow your healing process.

  29. For not being a poser, that's a great shot of Mr. Jinx.

    You're right, everyone deals with their grief differently. We hope this process helps you. We are all here for you. Purrs....

  30. As Dad grows in his life he says his listening has grown also. Thanks for speaking and allowing us to listen. It deepens our lives and souls


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