So she said:
Take the love that you have for me, and spread it around.
Now I have.
But it is not easy to "move on". Some days I still haven't. I get stuck when something happens that draws me back in time. Getting through all the major Holidays was an emotional hurdle. I think it is for many who are thinking about loved ones no longer with us.
I spoke with a Medium in December and found it very cathartic. I know to some this may sound like a desperate thing and to others it may sound like reaching for straws. It was not like that at all for me. I went into it very skeptical and was quickly assured by what was being said to me that I was indeed getting communications from Abby. Let me just say this, there were things that NO ONE knew but Abby and me and that is why I believe. I'm not going to say that this experience suddenly made me completely happy and fulfilled but it helped me a great deal in handling my sadness for Abby. Knowing now what I do know and feel is comforting for me and has given me some peace inside my heart.
Right before Christmas, we had to make a trip over to the Vet's office and one of the Vet Techs gave us the clipping of Abby's fur from August 2013. When we took her for her last trip over to the Vet's they were going to cut a locket of her fur for me. The day we picked up her ashes I did not look inside I was too upset. When we got home and I didn't find the fur, I assumed that somehow it was overlooked or lost and I just couldn't handle asking. I didn't want to be told either thing so I just let it go. So imagine my surprise -- no imagine my shock when this appeared. I immediately went right back to feeling like the day it all happened and it was very raw and emotional. I couldn't understand why this happened NOW? I don't have a definitive answer. The only thing I can think of, in a positive way is that Abby wanted me to have as a last parting gift this past Christmas, a piece of her physical body as that is what I am missing so very much. When I touched the fur it was her all over again to me.
One of the things the Medium helped me with was understanding was more about the Spiritual side of life. Abby's Spirit is alive and well and lives right here with me beside me. The only thing gone is the physical, this vessel we get around in this world. So having her fur show up mere days before Christmas was her final gift to me. She was saving it. I mean why would the Vet Tech wait 4 months to give it to me? Why hold onto it once you found it? There are no coincidences in life.
So the road of this Journey opens up and I am trying to spread our love, Abby's and mine, by opening up our home to a new young life. Abby approves and wanted this to happen and helped to make this happen. I believe that with all of my heart, because there are too many things that had to happen just right for it to occur and it's no coincidence.
But, I can no more talk about Annabelle, Boo, Ping, Jinx or Gracie without including my Abby. Because to me she is still here just different. Our Spirits are too closely tied and interwoven for her not to be a part of everything and she will continue to be. I do miss her physical presence here and I know I always always will but I feel her Spirit and I know she hears me when I speak to her, and I know she's waiting. Waiting for me.
To the Moon Abby.
I love you to the Moon and back
again and again and again