#TBT

August 9, 2013

Underneath my desk the day after the first ER visit,

and right before she had another cardio event.

I didn't know at the time that was what it was,

but she was in congestive heart failure.

She tried so hard, truly she did to stay.

But, Monday 8-12-13 in the morning,

she was failing. I had been up with her all night

because I was afraid she wouldn't make it.

She communicated with me she was ready.

Then, I knew I had to let her go.

I made the call the Vet's office about

you know, the last visit.

We had an appt scheduled for Thursday,

and my heart knew she wouldn't be coming back from that,

if we made it to that day.

Also that same day we got her oxygen tent.

We set it up and put her in it.

That night she suffered cardiac arrest and she slipped

away. I donated the oxygen tent to my Vet.

I know that there are those that believe, and I'm

not saying what's right or wrong, that it's better to have

one less moment than one more moment that may someone

suffer. I think the lines blur and love and probably

selfishness keeps your heart from stepping too soon.

Plus, emotionally you're a wreck.

No question about it, no one makes good decisions

when under that much pressure.

I have no regrets about the decisions I made with Abby.

She was with me at home and I sent her on her way.

The last thing she knew was my arms around her,

 in her

own home.

***
#TBT

#missingyou

***

the are no happy endings.

endings are the saddest part.

so give me a happy start

and a happy middle.