Nine

 

It's been nine years.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe all the major shifts

that have happened since

that sad faithful day your little

damaged heart stopped beating 

as I held you in my arms.

It may be melodramatic, but I felt

that you would only want me 

to be the one holding onto you as you let go.

It is a moment that will never leave me.

I read a story not too long ago

about a cat that was abused by a child

and rehomed because the parents felt it was

the cat's fault it was becoming 'dangerous'.

It struck home because that is what happened to you.

But it was the Father who hated you and abused you.

And you were very hostile to men.

You were hostile and temperamental for quite some time

after I got you and of course you were 6.

So you had experienced quite a bit of abusive behavior.

You tested me.

Boy how, did you ever!

But not once did I ever scold you.

I persevered.

 I fell in love with you from the first second,

and I needed to gain your trust.

I know I finally did,

and you repaid me greatly with your loyalty.

You had a wonderful life and you were the 

Queen of your kingdom.

But you were quite bossy and no matter what, you took

nothing from anyone.

Including me!

You kept us all in order.

That first morning when I walked into the house

after you had gone, 

it was so hard, 

because you always waited for me at

the back door. Not seeing you there was devastating.

And it still is. Because you are still everywhere in

this house.

Even though it's been 9 years, right at this moment

it feels like only yesterday.

I will grieve for you as long as I live,

my grief is the testament to the depth of my

love for you.

Our bond is rock solid.

Even though you are in a place I can't see.

I know you're waiting for me.

There are losses that rearrange the world.

Death that changes the way you see everything,

grief that tears down everything. Pain that 

transports you to a different universe, even when 

everyone else is thinking nothing 

has really changed.

~Megan Devine

I love you

to the 

Moon

and 

Back

....

again

and

again

and 

again.

Love always and forever,

Until I see you again...

xoxoxo

Your ever faithful Mom