Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Annabelle's Antics

 Mom went out this weekend and brought home a new animal print throw. Now we don't care one whit about the throw but this was on the inside! A new toy!
 I had the best time playing and scratching on it!
 No Jinx you can't have it. Can't you see that 9/10th of the law is possession and I have 10/10th of it!
 Oh hooooo Mom put up a fence and now Ping and I are going to paw paw over it!
 OK Ping do something will ya?
 Ok if you won't scratch scratch scratch I will!
 Hey Ping are you still over there?
 Ping I don't know what to do with you! You're just laying there like a rock.
 Well goodness he took that wrong. But I smell him I know he was right here.
If Ping doesn't want to play fence then I'll tear it down and make wings out of this so I can fly around.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Mancat Monday With Ping

It's amazing how the light will catch him and make his eyes different colors. This is not photoshopped.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Caturday Art

 We're joining Athena at the Caturday Art blog hop.
 The beautiful colors in the abstract photograph of Annabelle reminds me of the colors in the photograph of the trees cast against the reflection in the water.

The creation of
a thousand forests
lies in
one acorn.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-

Friday, August 15, 2014

9TH Blogoversary

9 years ago today I started blogging.
My very first post I remember well was called Meet the Manx.
The entire reason for blogging was because of that little tiny girl of mine, Abby.
Abby Aug 2013
I had begun a personal journal about my search for Abby that started several weeks before I found her. Once I got her home, I began searching online for an outlet to continue writing and that was where I found the idea of blogging.
 At the time I had a borrowed digital camera that was several years old at that time. I didn't know much about the digital age. Heck I didn't know much about blogging.
Gracie Aug 2013
My entire purpose of this blog was to record our daily life. I couldn't blog everyday when I first began, but over time I did do a post a day. At least one, sometimes there have been times when I've don't multiple ones.
Mr Jinx
 When I began there were only a handful of other cat bloggers and we weren't connected like we are today. . It took all of 30 minutes to visit everyone.
When I first began, it never occurred to me that there would be losses I would have to deal with. No, that came much later. Many tears  have been shed  over the years as I've seen so many leave for the Bridge, including my own two.

 Now I've come full circle. From losses to new founded love. We've celebrated Gotcha days and birthdays and transitions of loss. Time changes us, for good, for bad. I celebrate 9 years today with far more knowledge than I began with but also with a great deal more insight. There is still so much to share, even memories of those who have departed and who I will always honor. Because you see, this all began because of one tiny feisty tuxie girl. She will always be my muse and inspiration. I carry her deep in my heart and cherish her memory. Now Annabelle will be the resident Manx Muse and will treat me to a whole new set of adventures.
Abby would approve.
A little.
We're also joining Rascal and Rocco for the Pet Parade.
Jan and the Funny Farmers
Basil the Bionic Cat
Love is Being Owned By A Husky
M K Clinton Barking From The Bayou.

We hope you'll all join in with us.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

10 Gotchas


Last year at this time I don't think I even acknowledged that it was PBJ Gotcha. I was too overwhelmed by the loss of my beloved Abby.  But, my original three amigos are still purring strong. It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years. I wonder if the kind soul who abandoned them at my doorstep wonder how they are? Do you think that they have that much of a heart? I do know that to this day I thank that person(s). I do, I really do. They saved their lives that day. They came to me and I have given them the life of Riley. Anyone new to their story may not realize that they were abandoned near my home. Jinx chose(and I know it was Jinx) to come to my house.They were used to being indoors. They were not accustomed to finding food and water for themselves. But as things worked out slowly but surely they made their way into heart and home and that's where they've been ever since. A lot has happened in those 10 years, good and bad. But so far with only a minor scarce for Boo (and now Jinx), the three of them have been doing well.

 I can't imagine not having them as they've been such a huge part of our lives.
We're happy to help them quietly celebrate this milestone today, that is of course if youthful Annabelle will let them. We can't help but send a nod out to our beloved Angels Abby and Grace who we feel are watching over us and happy.

Here's to the first 10 years and hoping for many many more.
We're joining PepiSmartDog THANKFUL THURSDAY blog hop.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

See You With My Heart


There was a moment when life was just life,
 and death was a stranger I knew nothing about.
There was a fragment when ordinary was just ordinary,
and it was filled with everyday traditional normal things.
There was a glimpse when laughter was simple laughter,
and not laughter tainted with sorrow and loss.
Death was something far away and distant and not real,
something that happened to people on t.v. shows,
or in movies.
Other people.
Not me.
Not us.

When they ask me 
what I liked the best,
I'll tell them it was you.
~City of Angels

There was a minute when everything was right,
and then there was a second,
when it wasn't right anymore,
at 9:55 in the evening,
on a Monday.
Exactly one year ago today.
Now I can no longer think...'this time last year we were'.... 
or say you died recently,
 or even a few months ago.
One year.
I don't feel ready to be in my second year of Grieving.
It's still all too soon, too raw, too unbelievable.


 Your love is gone,
 and you are no longer you.


All I've got is my longing and my begging for all the yesterdays 
and the times when I didn't know anything at all 
or care about posts such as this one. 
 I look to the sky and I wonder. 
I miss all the things that never were, 
and all the things that never will be. 
 But that sky is different to me now, 
than the sky I knew, 
the one before I knew death. 
I see it's darkness. 
I see it's light. 
I see it all. 

There will never be a time,
like the time I lived in,

before I knew too much,
about life,
to know
that it's not
just Life.

It is nothing. And everything.
It is the only thing that we have,
for sure.
The only thing that is right now.

I wish I didn't know
so much
about death.
But I do.
I do.

Once several years back, another blogging friend lost their beloved cat.
She literally lost her mind.
Every day, every post was more emphatic.
Deeper pain.
Gut wrenching.
Everyday I tried to say a kind and encouraging word.
But, I did not understand.
I thought I did, 
but I truly didn't.

I have known loss. 
Loss of the very young infant to loss of an aged great-grandparent.
I have experienced job loss, pet loss, loss of a friendships, and losses of the heart.
I have had all the normal losses every single human at one time or another experiences.
But I have never had a loss that hit me
 so profoundly
so deep
so strong
 at my core. 


So when I think back to my blogging friend,
the one who was hurt so deeply
by a loss of 20+ year old cat.
 I didn't know
or understand how it could affect her so profoundly.
I thought I was compassionate.
I thought I was understanding to her pain.
But I didn't understand.
I do now.

No one knows or understands some things until we have experienced them ourselves.
 I know how hard it is to read the about someone's grief.
I know that at some point it's like you need to get on with LIFE.
But grief of great depth is not like that.
There is no getting on with it.
What there is is learning to
 absorb it,
 incorporate it
 and live with it.
It's a wall you live right up against, every single day.

My sincere hope is that no one should experience a loss this great,
 but I suspect most of us at some point in our lives will.
The only thing I encourage is that you not be like me.
Don't think because someone is hurting so bad that they can just "do something"
 to propel themselves to be OK.  
It's not like that.
Not at all.
And I will tell you this.
A kind word. A true heartfelt thought will help that anguish. 
Knowing that someone understands the pain can mean the
 difference in being able to go through that moment.
We live in a broken world.
Anyone can offer moments of encouragement, hope and beauty to others.
Acts of kindness can change people's lives even if one does not see the transformation.
Sometimes you cannot know the misery hidden in someone's heart.
But a genuine compassion can help begin healing the brokenness.

Cape Cod

A thought dawned slowly in my mind,
since I live in a Coastal area Grief became to me like beach evolution.

Beaches are dynamic, living breathing landscapes, and the prime example of beach evolution is the coastal barrier. These strips of land are usually long and narrow, and run parallel to the mainland. Sometimes they are islands and other times they are connected to land at one end. Scientists estimate that there are more than 2,100 barriers fronting nearly 10 percent of the world’s continental shorelines.
These sandy barriers are constantly raised up, shifted, and torn down by the natural ebb and flow of waves, currents, winds, and tides. Hooks form, inlets open and close, and beaches slowly march across their back bays and lagoons toward the mainland. This process allows them to naturally move ever upwards as sea levels rise.
On the southeastern elbow of Cape Cod where the New England coast reaches out into the cold and choppy North Atlantic, this natural progression has been taking place in full view of satellites for more than 30 years. The images of Cope Cod above were acquired by the Operational Land Imager on Landsat 8  and the Thematic Mapper on Landsat 5. They show the shape of the coast off of Chatham, Massachusetts, on June 12, 1984, and July 30, 2013.

That is Grief summed up for me. 
Time and the ocean pound away at the land,
 moving the sand from one coastline to the other, 
just as grief morphs and changes, 
a grain of sand at a time until it too looks very different over a long period of time. 
The shoreline, 
like grief is always there,
 but different worn away by the pounding.

 365 days ago at 9:55 PM my life changed.
Although  it may seem unthinkable that I could be so deep in mourning over a cat.
For me she wasn't simply a cat.
She was my best and most loyal loving friend.
I may have only had her on loan for 8 years and 2 months,
 but it was our lifetime.
For the time I have remaining
 I will miss her deeply.
Shifting one grain of sand at a time. 
Until the coastline of my heart bears no resemblance to the one before August 12, 2013.

There are no goodbyes for us.
Wherever you are,
you will always be in my heart.


Monday, August 11, 2014

Remembering Grace

 I love this photo of Gracie. The color in her eyes is her natural eye color. All I did was remove the black and white from that section of the photograph.
 This was from the first series of photos I took of Gracie. You can see how young she was. Just a kitten still. She'd only been here a few short weeks in August of 2005.
I never published this picture. But every fall and winter when the space heater came out this was Gracie's go to spot. She loved to lie right up against it and she was always super warm. I will always remember this fondly.
 Just look at those whiskers.
 She loved being out on the porch in the sun on the platform.

 Our final Christmas. Just last December.

 Today marks six months that Gracie left us for the Bridge. It's hard to think of her as being gone. We miss her so so much. Today and tomorrow are very solemn around here. Too much sadness all at once.